Jackass - Theme(Chords)

	        
C                        (C7) 
Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,  
F 
Long as I have my plastic Jesus 
C                             D7 
Riding on the dashboard of my car 
C 
Through all trials and tribulations, 
F 
We will travel every nation, 
C               G7             C 
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far. 

      F              C 
cho:  Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus 
      C             (D7)            G7 
      Riding on the dashboard of my car 
      C                      (C7) 
      Through all trials and tribulations, 
      F              (F#dim7) 
      We will travel every nation, 
      C               G7            C 
      With my plastic Jesus I'll go far. 

I don't care if it rains or freezes 
's long as I've got my Plastic Jesus 
Glued to the dashboard of my car, 
You can buy Him phosphorescent 
Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant,	 
Take Him with you when you're travelling far. 

I don't care if it's dark or scary, 
Long as I have magnetic Mary, 
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car, 
I feel I'm protected amply, 
I've got the whole damn Holy Family, 
Riding on the dashboard of my car. 

You can buy a Sweet Madonna 
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a 
Pedestal of abalone shell, 
Goin' ninety, I'm not wary 
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary, 
Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell. 

I don't care if it bumps or jostles 
Long as I got the Twelve Apostles 
Bolted to the dashboard of my car 
Don't I have a pious mess 

Such a crowd of holiness 
Strung across the dashboard of my car 

No, I don't care if it rains or freezes, 
Long as I have my plastic Jesus, 
Riding on the dashboard of my car, 
But I think he'll have to go, 
His magnet ruins my radio, 
And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar. 

Riding through the thoroughfare, with his nose up in the air 
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind 
Trouble coming, he don't see, he just keeps his eyes on me 
And any other thing that lies behind 
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car 
Though the sun shines on his back makes him peel, chip, and crack 
A little patching keeps him up to par 

When pedestrians try to cross I let them know whose boss 
I never blow my horn or give them warning 
I ride all over town, trying to run them down 
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning 
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car 
His halo fits just right and I use it as a sight 
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far 

When I'm in a traffic jam he don't care if I say Damn 
I can let all sorts of curses roll 
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear, for he has a plastic ear 
The man who invented plastic saved my soul 
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus riding on the dashboard of my car 
Once his robe was snowy white, now it isn't quite so bright 
Stained by the smoke of my cigar 

God made Christ a Holy Jew 
God made Him a Christian too 
Paradoxes populate my car 
Joseph beams with a feigned elan 
>From the shaggy dash of my furlined van 
Famous cuckold in the master plan; 

Naughty Mary, smug and smiling, 
Jesus dainty and beguiling 
Knee-deep in the piling of my van; 
His message clear by night or day 
My phosphorescent plastic Gay 
Simpering from the dashboard of my van. 

When I'm goin' fornicatin' 
I got my ceramic Satan 
Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home 
The women know I'm on the level 
Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil 
Ridin' on the dashboard of my ... 
      Sneerin' from the dashboard of my ... 
      Leering from the dashboard of my van. 

If I weave around at night 
And the police think I'm tight, 
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask; 
plastic Jesus shelters me, 
For His head comes off, you see-- 
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask. 

      Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus 
      Riding on the dashboard of my car: 
      Ride with me and have a dram, 
      Of the blood of the Lamb, 
      Plastic Jesus is a holy bar. 



Thanks to Bo Parker at NASA for this epic compilation. 



Geoff Bowerman 
[email protected]