Grandad's Got A Bone(Keyboard chords)

	        G'day Kevy Wilson fans. 
Here's a good one and it aint real hard. 
Once you get you timing going on the strummin' it's smooth sailing to learn. 
 
I am also very happy to hear from a few other KBW fans lately and I'm happy to take requests. 
Good talking to ya's all.  Legendary stuff! 
Drop us a quick email and tell me what you reckon.  I do reply to every one. 
 
 
 
 
 
Verse 1: 
        D 
The old bastard lay sprawled on the nursin' home floor 
                                      G 
He'd been wankin' and fell out of his chair. 
          A 
And as he fell on his guts his calostomy bust 
                                   D 
Splatterin' muck and guck and shit everywhere. 
       D 
It was all up the wall on the matron and all 
                              G 
It was caked on her apron and hair. 
       A                        A 
And as we ducked for cover that filthy old bugger 
     A                              D 
Just sat there with his cock in his hand. 
 
 
Verse 2: 
    D 
Oh, couldn't been a worse day 'cause it was his birthday 
                                        G 
With the rellies rally'd all 'round his bed. 
    A 
Absolutely amazed that he'd actually made 
                                            D 
Another birthday 'cause he should have been dead. 
              D 
With all that fuckin' and fightin' that he'd done in his life 
                               G 
He should have been hung years ago. 
       A                      A 
By any number of blokes who's missus he'd poked 
          A                             D 
With that monster he was strokin' there now. 

    D 
Oh, Grandad's got a stiffy 
                A 
Grandad's got a bone. 
 
Somebody better get Nana in quick 
                     D 
We promised her we'd phone. 
     D 
He's O.D.d on viagra 
                           G 
Call Grandmother up on the phone. 
A 
Grandad's got a stiffy 
                D 
Grandad's got a bone.
 
 
 
Instrumental:  D  G  A  D 
 
 
Verse 3: 
            D 
But he just couldn't stop wankin' so we chucked on a blanket 
                               G 
So the women and kids couldn't see. 
    A 
His battered banana hangin' out his pajamas 
                                   D 
And the come stain and shit on the sheets. 
         D 
But that filthy old bastard sat cacklin' and laughin' 
                            G 
Just wavin' his slug in the air. 
           A                       A 
And by the look in his eye, matron knew it was time 
     A                        D 
Everybody get the fuck out of here. 
 
 
Chorus: 
       D 
'Cause Grandad's got a stiffy 
                A 
Grandad's got a bone. 
 
Somebody better get Nana in quick 
                     D 
We promised her we'd phone. 
     D 
He's pullin' him self ta pieces 
                           G 
Call Grandmother up on the phone. 
A 
Grandad's got a stiffy 
                D 
Grandad's got a bone. 

    D 
Oh, Grandad's got a stiffy 
                A 
Grandad's got a bone. 
 
Somebody better get Nana in quick 
                     D 
We promised her we'd phone. 
       D 
'Cause Grandad's goin' ballistic 
                           G 
Call Grandmother up on the phone. 
A 
Grandad's got a stiffy 
                D 
Grandad's got a bone. 
A 
Grandad's got a stiffy 
                D 
Grandad's got a bone.