roll up this ad to continue
Em
Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
Em
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed
G
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
B7
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and
Em D
Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
G C
And from that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed
Am B
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
C D Eb
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and
Em
When you're in black slacks with accentuating off-white pinstripes, whoa-oh
C B A G Em
Everything goes according to plan
Em D
I'm the new cancer, never looked better
G C
And you can't stand it
C B
I know because you say so under your breath
C B
You're reading lips, 'When did he get at all confident?'
Em D G C
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
C B
Never looked better
Em B C B C B
And you can't stand it
(play along to the piano timing changes)
Em
Next is a trip to the ladies room in vain
G
I bet you just can't keep up with these fashionistas
B
Tonight, tonight, you are, you are the whispering campaign
B
To them, your name is 'Cheap', and you look like sh--
Em D
Talk to the mirror, choke back tears
G C C B Am
And keep telling yourself that, 'I'm a diva.'
Am B C
Oh, and the smokes in that cigarette box at your table
D Eb C B C
B
They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin
(Chorus)
Em D G C
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
C B Em
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
Em
And I know, and I know
D G C
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
C B
I've never been so surreptitious
Em
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
(and repeat the chords)
And I know, and I know
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
And I know, and I know
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch
Written by Ryan Ross