Verse 1:
Em Bm C Am
Why should I watch Matt Damon cry without her at my side?
Em Bm C Am
I pined as days went by, but now it's fine
Em Bm C Am
Cause in the end, we're such close friends, sugar-n-spice, and since then
Em Bm C Am
There's more time for me, I've started a diary and washed my car again
Verse 2:
Em Bm C Am
It's okay that you haven't called me in a week or two
Em Bm C Am
I'm sure it's hard for you, it's been hard for me too
Em Bm C Am Em
But as long as wood still floats, I can sow my wild oats and paint the town red
Bm C Am
The party's far from dead, I'm happy in my empty bed
Bridge:
G Em C D
Girl, I remember when we was sittin' on your couch
G Em C
Watchin' Good Will Hunting, holdin' hands and drinkin' milkshakes
D G Em C
But milkshakes melt, people change, and you dumped me on my birthday
D G Em
Right after I bought you that really expensive thing from the Body Shop
C D G Em
Called Jojoba Loofah Milktowel or something like that
C D G
That I sold 147 Cutco knives to afford, but whatever, hey, it's cool
Em C D
I've moved on you know, I'm happy now, well, happy in a crying sorta way
G Em C
You know, curled up naked in the shower biting your knees wishing you were dead kinda happy
D G Em
But I realized you were right, we were never meant to be
C D
And you know what? Thank God
G Em C D
Cause you're the most vapid, whiny blah I've ever met
G Em C D
Always making fun of my clothes, telling me how hot other guys are, asking me to pay you gas money?!
G Em C
Buy your own gas you bug-eyed mooch, it's your car and it costs more than my house
D G
Oh and now you're going around trying to sleep with my friends
Em C
Hey good, that really makes you an empowered individual
D G
No wait, did I say empowered individual? I meant two-cent gutter slut
Em C D
Listen you tanning-bed-baked, broke-ass, goat-faced, oompa-loompa monkey problem
G Em
I am proud to shop at Target, I'll wear warm-up pants any day of the week
C D
Yes, your ass did look fat in those jeans, your mom's a M.I.L.F
G Em C D
And I plan to get on your little sister just as soon as I give her a call back, oh and you know what else?