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G D
When I run into friends of mine I haven't seen in years,
D G
They give me the once over then their eyes well up with tears.
G C
Then they pronounce me 'looking great', I haven't changed a bit,
G D C Bm7 D G
I flash 'em back a feeble smile: I know I look like sh*t.
G D
'Cos I saw myself this morning, phew, and I know of what I speak.
D G
I'm a human being, but I look like I reek.
G C
And a weaker bathroom lightbulb just might take care of it,
G D C Bm7 D G
'Cos the mirror shatters your illusions when you look like sh*t.
C G
Sh*t comes in different colors and consistencies,
A7 D C D
I guess that I'm just aging like the finest wines and cheeses.
G D
The guy that's me, who's in my dreams, is twenty-five or six,
D G
I'm old enough to be his dad, how's that for parlour tricks?
G C
Life's a job you're fired from, unless of course you quit,
Bm7 G D C Bm7 D G
Gee, I wonder if that old blind guy knows that he looks like sh*t?
D Em G
Let's ask him! 'scuse me? No, over here!
G D
Although I know it's natural, I still can't understand.
G
Once I looked like a million bucks, now, more like two grand.
G C
We start out with a lot of time, but what happens to it?
G C Bm7 D G
Times flies when you f**k around and then you look like sh*t!
G C
Oh, ain't it the truth, brothers and sisters?
C G
Sh*t comes in different colors and consistencies,
A7 D D6
'Sh*t's a gift we make', Freud said, here, take mine won't you please?'
G D7 D
Growing old ain't easy, it's a process so they say.
G
We proceed to our grand finale, every single day.
C
But dying doesn't worry me, I'm not bothered a bit,
G D C Bm7 D G
I just don't like the thought of lying there looking like sh*t!