Half Man Half Biscuit

The Ballad Of Climie Fisher(Chords)

Half Man Half Biscuit

Key: G

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Intro C  

C 
Now here comes a story that's never been told(y) 
About the turbulent demise of Climie Fisher 
They had their success and they went separate ways(y) 

C 
Fisher went to work as a researcher for the BBC education department; rented a flat in  
Norbury, South London.(y) 
Climie moved into the gravel business, with his brother. Theirs was the place to go for  
White Dolomite and 
Canterbury Spar. It was a small but profitable operation, specialised in large  
driveways. Top of the range 
was called a 'Hadleigh'; so named after the TV series.(y)(y) 

C 
Now keep this in mind 
G            C 
Fisher hates gravel 
    G            C 
And Fisher hates shale 
   G          C 
It goes right through him.(x)(x) 

C 
In the spring of 1995, Climie did an interview for 'Mixed Aggregate' magazine, in which  
he criticised his 
ex-partner for not giving him the credit he felt he deserved during their days of chart  
stardom.(y) Fisher 
read the article, became incensed, and started a smear campaign against the brother's  
business which proved 
immensely damaging.(y)(y) When Climie eventually found out who it was that had been  
trying to destroy his 
livelihood, he swore revenge(y) - this time with a full page statement in 'Asphalt'. One  
hundred pound a 
word.(y) Spent his last five hundred pounds to say: 'You're a dead man Fisher.'(y)(x)(x) 

C 
How here comes a story that's never been told.(y)(y) 
In the meantime, Fisher had started to pine for his music, and decided to get a band  
together.(y) Do a 
few gigs; nothing serious, just enjoy it, see what happens, kinda thing.(y) Thought it  
might be fun to do 
some out of the way venues.(y) So it passed that on October the third 1995, he took to the 
stage at the 
Duke Of Marlborough pub in Amesbury, on the south eastern edge of Salisbury Plain.(y) 
Well of course Climie had somehow found out about all this, and was standing right in  
front of Fisher 
with pockets full of gravel.(y) Thirty seconds into the first song and he's raining his  
stones down at Fisher's 
feet.(y) 
               (N.C)                                            C 
Well the music stops. Fisher goes berserk. Mayhem. Police cars. (x)(x) 
I'll tell you a story that's never been told.(y)(x)(x)(x)(x)(x)
	        

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